Sometimes when I reflect on how I've been acting the last several weeks since J and I have moved to Ann Arbor for him to start grad school, I want to grab my own shoulders and shake myself..... how often have I sat pouting, wishing things were different, wallowing away in self pitty, thinking I deserve better or more? I mean sure, things aren't exactly how I might choose them to be right now; I often feel lonely in this new place, I don't have a job and I'm sick of searching (which means I'm also sick of not having any money), and the uncertainty about my/our future is constantly torturing me, but..... I am MARRIED!! I am married to the love of my life, my best friend, to a man whose integrity and honesty never cease to amaze me. I have waited my whole life for exactly that. Now is it clear why I sometimes feel like shaking some sense into myself?!
I am not naive enough to believe that being married makes everything easy and fun. But if I'm honest, I sometimes just don't feel like dealing with the hard stuff. Sometimes I want everything taken care of for me so I can come to home to a perfectly clean home with a totally complete "to do" list.
But here's the reality. Life is messy. Love is messy. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. And sometimes you have to choose to be grateful even when you feel like pouting.
I am grateful today for a husband who loves me even when I forget to be grateful.
